We posted this 2 years ago, but the information still applies, so we wanted to share it again!
Most of us have a tendency to idealize time with our families for the holidays- especially for those who don’t see their families. It’s easy to forget about the “quirks” and the unhealthy dynamics until you are THERE, and you feel extremely disappointed. (We have seen this happen a lot with college students with the excitement of going home after not having been home all semester, then… meh. Things are not the way you remembered. In fact, they were probably never the way you remembered. There is no perfect family.)
What to do? To oversimplify, identify your unmet (& likely unspoken) expectations, set boundaries, and try to find the silver lining. Most therapists find that their phone rings more around the holidays (and after) than other times of the year and it’s no wonder why. There is hard work to do; our families impact us more than we realize and more than we’d like to admit.
You may find this article, “Holiday Land Mines With Your Family,” helpful as you think through what your triggers are with your family. What sets you back? What makes you anxious? Sad? Lonely?